Disruptive Thoughts - Latest Comments in Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

carl — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 18:34:51 -0000

Fantastic.I have eyes that find it very hard to focus.They feel like my muscles are very weak, ones behind the eye.I find it very hard to focus when i am tired, but i will try to maintain the focus.I know it is a wondreful gift we have and it is a shame not to use it

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Juli — Sun, 13 May 2007 15:11:36 -0000

I'm not really good at the eye contact thing, but when other people hold my gaze, it feels so powerful. I can't help trusting people who look into my eyes when we're talking.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

nick — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 00:17:35 -0000

Receiving prolonged eye contact will unconsciously ask the receiver to self evaluate. They are unable to read your thoughts and are therefore left with their own self concept. I hope all receivers feel good about themselves, the alternative is very unpleasant.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Fraser — Sat, 23 Sep 2006 00:50:56 -0000

Derek, welcome to the site.

So long as the direct eye contact isn't done in an intimidating way I bet ppl actually will feel comfortable with it.

(can I recommend Widgified for your sites name?)

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Fraser — Fri, 22 Sep 2006 23:50:56 -0000

Derek, welcome to the site. So long as the direct eye contact isn't done in an intimidating way I bet ppl actually will feel comfortable with it. (can I recommend Widgified for your sites name?)

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Derek Anderson — Fri, 22 Sep 2006 20:50:20 -0000

I have been told that my direct eye contact makes alot of people nervous. This is unfortunate, as I have no plans of stopping. It is the way I am.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Derek Anderson — Fri, 22 Sep 2006 19:50:20 -0000

I have been told that my direct eye contact makes alot of people nervous. This is unfortunate, as I have no plans of stopping. It is the way I am.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

candice — Wed, 20 Sep 2006 00:58:01 -0000

(Thanks! They are actually more shiny than they appear, it's just really difficult to get the mirror finish without it overpowering the pictures.)

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Fraser — Wed, 20 Sep 2006 00:38:45 -0000

Dean, love the thought in the first sentence.

Candice, you're right - understanding the right time to leverage the right type of influence is critical. (oh, and nice new shoes - very confident looking :D)

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

candice — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 23:58:01 -0000

(Thanks! They are actually more shiny than they appear, it's just really difficult to get the mirror finish without it overpowering the pictures.)

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Fraser — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 23:38:45 -0000

Dean, love the thought in the first sentence. Candice, you're right - understanding the right time to leverage the right type of influence is critical. (oh, and nice new shoes - very confident looking :D)

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Dean — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 22:45:04 -0000

The greatest power is the power you give away. Eye contact does not establish dominance, but conveys importance and power to all parties.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Dean — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 21:45:04 -0000

The greatest power is the power you give away. Eye contact does not establish dominance, but conveys importance and power to all parties.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

candice — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 21:29:54 -0000

(One more good excuse to buy nice clothes, for the confidence part, at least.)

Sometimes, though, you want to be approachable, rather than authoritative.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

candice — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 20:29:54 -0000

(One more good excuse to buy nice clothes, for the confidence part, at least.) Sometimes, though, you want to be approachable, rather than authoritative.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Fraser — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 17:05:57 -0000

Candice, you're absolutely right. Confidence is given by others to those who simply appear confident. A cycle that creates influence.

Before this experiment I made eye contact. But now I make eeeeeeeye contact. There's a difference and it's way uncomfortable at first.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

candice — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 16:48:18 -0000

It's not just eye contact, it's having good posture and a confident stance, too. Walking into a room like you own it.

In a lot of ways I'm really good at the "can I have that." I don't even need to ask for things much of the time.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Fraser — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 16:05:57 -0000

Candice, you're absolutely right. Confidence is given by others to those who simply appear confident. A cycle that creates influence. Before this experiment I made eye contact. But now I make eeeeeeeye contact. There's a difference and it's way uncomfortable at first.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

candice — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 15:48:18 -0000

It's not just eye contact, it's having good posture and a confident stance, too. Walking into a room like you own it. In a lot of ways I'm really good at the "can I have that." I don't even need to ask for things much of the time.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Fraser — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 12:30:23 -0000

muwahahahahahahaa (evil cackle) <--- seemed fitting with all of this talk about power and unflinching eye contact.

And I guess it could be, as Tom found out. But boy have I enjoyed the positives that can be created.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Eric Olson — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 12:26:25 -0000

Very true. Unflinching eye contact is incredibly powerful.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Fraser — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 12:23:54 -0000

That's a good question - how did we even get to the point where eye contact feels strange. I bet at one point it was the only form of effective communication.

And I'm not talking about looking someone in the eye - most of us do that, to some extent. I'm talking about unflinching eye contact. Now that's powerful.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Eric Olson — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 12:15:45 -0000

Right on Fraser! Eye contact is incredibly powerful because it puts humans in touch at the core. It sounds silly but it is true. I am at the point where I think it is strange if someone doesn't look me in the eye. It makes me wonder if I can trust them.

I wonder how our culture got to the point where eye contact feels strange. At one point in time I am sure it was our best form of communication.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Fraser — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 11:30:23 -0000

muwahahahahahahaa (evil cackle) <--- seemed fitting with all of this talk about power and unflinching eye contact. And I guess it could be, as Tom found out. But boy have I enjoyed the positives that can be created.

Re: Fraser on Influence – The Importance of Making (Eye) Contact

Eric Olson — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 11:26:25 -0000

Very true. Unflinching eye contact is incredibly powerful.